Make The Leap

by KB BlackStone | Aug 31, 2019 | Depression, Happiness, Health, Mental health, Mindfulness, Self-awareness, Self-Love, Wealth, Women

What is the boiling Frog Syndrome?

Frogs are very similar to humans in that they can adapt to their environments depending on the situation.

If you threw a frog into a pot of boiling water it would jump out.

However, if you were to put a frog in a pot of cool water and then heated the water, as the temperature of the water rises, the frog is able to adjust its body temperature accordingly.

The frog continues to adjust as the temperature increases. Just when the water is about to reach boiling point, the frog is not able to adjust anymore.

At that point the frog decides to jump out.

When the frog attempts to jump however, it is unable to do so. It has lost all its strength in adjusting with the water temperature.

As a consequence… the frog dies.

What is a silent heart attack?

“A heart attack does not always have obvious symptoms, such as pain in your chest, shortness of breath and cold sweats. In fact, a heart attack can actually happen without a person knowing it. It is called a silent heart attack, or medically referred to as silent ischemia (lack of oxygen) to the heart muscle.” –https://www.goredforwomen.org/en/about-heart-disease-in-women/facts/silent-heart-attack-symptoms-risks

As humans we naturally adapt to our situations or environments similar to the frog.

Some are in toxic relationships, friendships, jobs and environments, and as opposed to doing something to change the situation, they instead adapt and conform.

When we stay in any environment for too long we began to look for the positives in the situation and begin to rationalize and say things like, “oh, this isn’t so bad” or “I can handle this.”

The truth is a piece of us dies every day the longer we remain in our stressful environments. Stress slowly an unknowingly creeps in; this is equivalent to the water boiling.

We get so tired that even attempting to change the situation seems exhausting, and so we do nothing.

We say things like “one day” or “someday.” Our thoughts immobilize us and before you know it stress (heat) increases and either a stroke or heart attack occurs.

We slowly get cooked alive and our hopes and dreams begin to die with us. “One day” never comes!

Paralysis by analysis

Some of us get paralyzed just thinking about how to make or take the next steps. We over think and over analyze, called paralysis by analysis.

The truth is we just need to change our energy and environments and get around people who can help us change our circumstances. It just requires us to extend our hands out to ask for and receive the help we need.

If you’re not asking for help, you’re probably not challenging yourself enough; if you have all the answers, you’re not learning new skills, trying new things, or moving forward and out of your comfort zone.

We have the greatest resource given to mankind, our mind! Don’t be like the frog – LEAP! while you still have the energy to do so!

Weight Loss

by KB BlackStone | Apr 4, 2019 | Depression, Happiness, Health, Mental health, Mindfulness, Self-awareness, Self-Love, Women

Life has no remote; You have to get up and change it yourself!

Disclaimer:

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Before launching a Space Shuttle into orbit, NASA has to create enough energy to move the shuttle from the launching pad and into the air and further into the orbit. Once the shuttle is in orbit the energy required to launch it is no longer needed. The shuttle can now use less energy while maintaining momentum toward its destination.

Like the Space Shuttle, if we are to make change in our lives we must first put forth the initial energy required to start us on our journey toward our destination or goal. Once we break through the barriers of resistance we can decrease some of the energy that was required to get us started.

What are the steps necessary to tackle weight lost?

When deciding to tackle weight lost and take control of your health, the first thing that needs to happen is a Mindshift. You need to get F.E.D. Up and say enough is enough! When we’re F.E.D. Up, we no longer believe in self-sabotaging behavior or habits that help create the situations we are currently regretting.

F.E.D. Up is an acronym and principle which means to apply Focus. Execution. and Discipline to achieve any goal we set for ourselves in life.

Losing weight requires us to become F.E.D. Up.

Deciding you will cut out those foods that add to your weight gain, and no longer visit those fast food restaurants that serve mostly processed foods is how you Focus.

Deciding to evaluate your eating habits and create or follow a meal plan, is how you Execute.

Discipline in sticking with your meal plan, is how you reach your goal of becoming healthier and happier.

If you want to lose weight, do this: Get moving!

Find some space on the floor in your home; grab a yoga mat and kettle bells or dumbbells and use a HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) workout for the next month. Once you begin to master those exercises with good form, increase your reps or move on to a more advanced HIIT workout. Want to add resistance bands – grab these. If you require more resistance and or a challenge – grab these. The latter bands are some of the thickest strongest bands I’ve ever used. You can purchase a single band, a pack of 3, 4 or 5 for varying degrees of resistance. Also, these bands are excellent for beginners or those of you looking to increase your pull-ups!

Go outside or go to the gym. Get some comfortable clothing, sneakers, grab a pedometer to track your steps. If you’re just starting out, shoot for a daily target of 8000 steps working your way up to 10,000 or more. Grab this fanny pack to hold your valuables on your person as opposed to leaving them in the locker room when going to the gym. Don’t forget your water bottle and gloves.

Follow a meal plan. You can download one here.

Remember to be patient with yourself whenever you start anything new. Our brains want to protect us and so it will make several attempts to return us back to our old self, along with the old habits which present the least amount of resistance. Like any muscle, resistance is required for growth, our brains are no different. Forming a new habit will take time for your brain to adjust. You will eventually build up the mental fortitude to reach your goal as long as you remain F.E.D. Up!

If you know someone that can benefit from this article please share this with them on your social media. Be well.

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Are You Compromising Your Freedom

by KB BlackStone | Nov 18, 2018 | Depression, Mental health, Mindfulness, Self-awareness, Self-Love, Women

Humans are social creatures; this is how we were able to dominate other species and build the world we live in today. Making connections and learning from one another is how we grow. Applying and incorporating this knowledge into our personal lives is how we continue to make progress reaching higher personal achievements. We don’t adapt at the same rate for various reasons – including ignoring solutions for improvement and resistance to change. Unknowingly this behavior eventually leads to dependency on external things and people for our progress and growth in life.

Reliance on others vs. Self-Reliance

Relying on external things and people to improve our lives effectively gives the thing or person control over our life and our happiness! If our happiness is solely determined by some external factor or person then they can also determine when we are sad, depressed, regretful or moody. Eventually realizing we are not in control over our lives and emotions as we thought, we become angry, bitter or resentful.

Self-Reliance is defined as “reliance on one’s own power and resources rather than those of others.” in his essay, “Self-Reliance,” philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson argues that polite society has an adverse effect on one’s personal growth. Self-sufficiency, he writes, gives one the freedom to discover one’s true self and attain true independence.”

We all can think of a time when we made a decision that benefited someone else or the group as a whole but we ourselves were not in total agreement. It’s not until we reflect on our circumstances or where we are in life that we conclude the decision we made in the past was not in our best interest. To be altruistic, which is putting another’s or a groups’ self interest above your own, is not a bad thing. Altruism can bring both joy and pain

Freedom of Expression

For example: If you took a happy friendly dog and put him in a cage all year long, only feeding him to keep him alive, the dog will become unfriendly, depressed and possibly aggressive. Taking not only the dog’s freedom and freedom of expression away from him puts him in a state that is counter to what he is. Dogs love to roam and explore and can be extremely friendly – this is their nature. They don’t call them man’s best friend for nothing.

We are not dogs. We react however, like the caged dog when we allow things and people to put us in a cage taking away our freedom and freedom of expression. Like the nature of the dog, we humans love companionship, are friendly and enjoy roaming and exploring new things – this is our nature. What’s encouraging to know is the fact that what distinguishes us from a dog or any animal is that we have the power to use our mind to effectively change our environments and circumstances.

Using Mindfulness

Activating the power of our mind allows us to develop strategies which we can use to change our situations in life. This is called using mindfulness. Through mindfulness we can slow the world down to evaluate what is going on in our lives and our environment. This evaluation gives us direction which we can take action to change or improve the things we are not satisfied with. When we take action, we effectively take control over our lives and freedom which ultimately improves our happiness.

Please share your thoughts in the comments and share with those you think can relate to this article. We love interacting with the community.

Is My Sacrifice For Others Hurting Me

by KB BlackStone | Jul 24, 2018 | Depression, Women

As humans we adapt to our environments and develop coping mechanisms or habits which help us overcome or deal with our situations and circumstances. Some of the mechanisms or adaptations we develop can do more harm to us than good in the long run.

When you have compassion helping and sacrificing for others becomes a natural human response. However, should compassion toward others mean we sacrifice and neglect our own well-being?

Many do…and unfortunately pay the ultimate price for it!

Both men and women tend to take on more than they should or feel they need to in certain situations, but women tend to do this often.

Women – An Endangered Species?

Traditionally, women are tasks with being the primary caregiver to babies and home care takers while also balancing family, relationships and work; despite the task, women proudly accept and do it all.

The thought of not being a “Super Mom” frustrates some women. They feel obligated to maintain the “Super Mom” image and guilty when they don’t.

This “Super Mom” image has put a tremendous amount of stress on women with fatal consequences not only to themselves, but also those in their care.

A Daunting Trend

According to the Center of Disease and Control (CDC), depression and other mental illnesses are among the leading factors for women and young girls to commit suicide…and worse, kill their children. As noted by Dr. Susan Hatters Friedman and Dr. Phillip J Resnick in their joint article:

“Maternal filicide is defined as child murder by the mother. Infanticide is child murder in the first year of life. The term neonaticide was coined by Resnick to describe murder of an infant within the first 24 hours of life. Almost all neonaticides are committed by mothers. Neonaticidal mothers are often young, unmarried women with unwanted pregnancies who receive no prenatal care.

Resnick’s review of the world psychiatric literature on maternal filicide found filicidal mothers to have frequent depression, psychosis, prior mental health treatment, and suicidal thoughts.

Maternal filicide perpetrators have five major motives:

a) in an altruistic filicide, a mother kills her child out of love; she believes death to be in the child’s best interest (for example, a suicidal mother may not wish to leave her motherless child to face an intolerable world; or a psychotic mother may believe that she is saving her child from a fate worse than death);

b) in an acutely psychotic filicide, a psychotic or delirious mother kills her child without any comprehensible motive (for example, a mother may follow command hallucinations to kill);

c) when fatal maltreatment filicide occurs, death is usually not the anticipated outcome; it results from cumulative child abuse, neglect, or Munchausen syndrome by proxy;

d) in an unwanted child filicide, a mother thinks of her child as a hindrance;

e) the most rare, spouse revenge filicide occurs when a mother kills her child specifically to emotionally harm that child’s father.”

(World Psychiatry, 2007 Oct; 6(3): 137–141. – Child murder by mothers: patterns and prevention.)

Women are the backbone of every society – acknowledged or not – and need to be protected and preserved similar to endangered species.

Practicing humaneness will ensure that we preserve and protect those who create humanity. Let us all do our part.

Neglect: Are You The Sacrificial Lamb?

by KB BlackStone | Jul 22, 2018 | Depression, Happiness, Health, Mental health, Mindfulness, Self-awareness, Self-Love, Women

As a modern society we have so many things vying for our attention.

Whether its work, relationships, kids, parents or social media – people and things are always chipping away at our time. This time lost has resulted in neglect.

Neglect is subtle, and when left unchanged, slowly hurts and even kills many people. We must stop this NOW!

What is Neglect?

Neglect can be defined as the result of carelessness, indifference, or unwillingness. Neglect can also mean the failure to care for properly (verb) or the state or fact of being uncared for (noun).

How does this happen? Neglect

creeps into our lives daily as we

consistently put off our basic

human needs.

We will make necessary sacrifices for those we love or care for, but won’t do the things necessary to nurture and grow ourselves. When we put our needs and wants on the back burner we effectively deny ourselves self-love. This is not as honorable as some may think and in the long run hurts those we love.

In relationships we sacrifice for our spouses; as parents we sacrifice for our children, despite the children being independent; we sacrifice our time with our spouses and children for our aging parents; and finally, as employees we sacrifice our time, energy, our peace of mind and even our health for our employers or our businesses.

It’s

Time

for

change!

Many are unknowingly walking around with anxiety and depression and don’t even know it!

Neglect shows up in many areas of our lives. It shows in the way we treat ourselves; what we eat; what we tell ourselves regarding the relationships we have; our attitudes; our appearance and even in our beliefs.

The vicious cycle of neglect, where we tell ourselves “one day” we will do what we really want, has to end. Such neglect examples include statements like:

“One day” we will start our diet or make that lifestyle change.

“One day” we will take time for ourselves and go on that vacation.

“One day” we will get the job we desire or start working that business idea.

Time is precious, and neglect steals time away from us and stops us from achieving the happiness we deserve.

The truth is we can’t keep telling ourselves that we are happy taking care of others while we drown in our own emotions due to neglect. Everyone wants and should experience life at its optimal level. The only way we can begin to see change is if we start taking better care of ourselves, by putting us first!

Better care of ourselves means better care for those we love.

We are more in control of our lives than we think. It is within our own power and in our own best interest to take immediate action now and turn the neglectful saying of “one day” into a prosperous “TODAY!”